Space Between: Explorations of Love, Sex, and Fluidity By Nico Tortorella

Space Between: Explorations of Love, Sex, and Fluidity
Author:  Nico Tortorella (they/them)
Publisher:  Crown, an imprint of Random House
Review by:  Giselle Bloch, Pflag Parent

This book captivated me from the moment I began reading it. Nico Tortorella is an actor and an LGBTQ2S+ advocate; through their book they explore love, sex, gender, polyamory, addiction, family, fame, fluidity, and life outside the binary. But this book is so much more than that. This book is a memoir of love, identity, and acceptance.

In Space Between, Nico reveals themself in all their vulnerability. They delve into a multitude of topics that can affect sexuality and gender, including toxic masculinity, misogyny, transphobia and homophobia, systemic racism, socioeconomic status, privilege, and intersectionality, to name a few.

Nico writes honestly and openly about their experiences with addiction and self-destruction, and how their journey toward sobriety enabled them to explore their sexual and gender fluidity. They share intimate details of their romantic partnerships and their marriage to the love of their life.

Readers will see how life outside conventional norms can be healing and beautiful. 

I highly recommend Space Between for anyone who wants to learn more about gender, the gender binary, nonbinary identities, sexuality, gender and sexual fluidity, polyamory and consensual non-monogamy. It is an educational, captivating, and inspiring book, and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Both Can Be True, by Jules Machias

Both Can Be True, by Jules Machias
Publisher: Quill Tree Books, an imprint of HarperCollins Publisher
Review by: Giselle Bloch, Pflag Parent

I made a note after a someone mentioned the book Both Can Be True in the chat at an online support meeting. I can’t remember who recommended it, but I picked up a copy and read the entire book in one day!

This book is about gender and so many other things. It’s about labels and not labelling, it’s about coming of age, emotions, love, support, truth, identity, acceptance, and spectrums instead of absolutes. It’s truly amazing.

Both Can Be True is written from the perspective of the two main characters: Ash and Daniel. They are 13-year-olds who meet at school; Ash switches genders from day to day, and Daniel has been told that he’s overly emotional. They bond over a little dog, their beautiful friendship develops, and it becomes complicated when they start to have more-than-friend feelings for each other.

Ash and Daniel share their thoughts and emotions with honesty, insight, and humour. Both Can Be True is a book that you won’t be able to put down after reading the first paragraph. I learned so much from this book, I thoroughly enjoyed reading it, and I highly recommend it to teens and adults alike!

SISSY: A COMING-OF-GENDER STORY, by Jacob Tobia

SISSY: A COMING-OF-GENDER STORY, by Jacob Tobia
Author: Jacob Tobia (pronouns: They/Them)
Publisher: G.P. Putnam’s Sons
Review by: Giselle Bloch, Pflag Parent

I read Sissy in two days; I simply couldn’t put it down! In their memoir, Jacob is raw, honest and vulnerable. They use humour and emotion to share their gender journey of two decades.

Jacob grew up not knowing if they were a boy, a girl, something in between or something outside those boxes. They didn’t understand what they felt yet persisted nonetheless in discovering their truth. Despite times of isolation, pain and fear, Jacob knew they had to be true to their identity.

Jacob explores difference in all its wonder and glory. They touch on power and privilege, systemic inequalities, feminism and toxic masculinity, and family relationships – all in a subtle way to allow us to pause and examine our own conscious and unconscious belief system.

Sissy will empower everyone to think about gender in a new way, and to aim to live more authentically. This beautiful exploration of gender by Jacob Tobia is an absolute must-read!

THE BOLD WORLD, by Jodie Patterson

Author: Jodie Patterson
Publisher: Ballantine Books
Review by: Giselle Bloch, Pflag Parent

I have read numerous memoirs written by parents of transgender children, and The Bold World is one of my favourites!

One of her five children is just able to speak when he declares that he’s a boy, and Jodie describes her struggles and breakthroughs with raw honesty. She eventually learns and grows as her family evolves and changes around her. Jodie not only explores gender identity; she incorporates culture, racism and sexism into her narrative.

Jodie’s experiences propel her toward activism for her own child and the trans community, and her memoir is a powerful and intimate glimpse into the power of one parent’s love for her child. I highly recommend this beautiful and transformative book!

LOVE LIVES HERE, by Amanda Jette Knox

Author: Amanda Jette Knox (they/them)
Publisher: Penguin Random House
Review by: Giselle Bloch (she/her), Pflag Parent [updated November 2022]

I couldn’t put down Love Lives Here, so I read it twice! This book is more than just a story about a family navigating gender identity and sexuality. Love Lives Here is about love and support, about kindness and compassion, and about respect and resilience.

In this heartwarming, brutally honest and humorous narrative, Amanda (who, since publication, has come to recognize that they are nonbinary) courageously shares their family’s transition from a mom, a dad and three boys to a completely different and wonderful family dynamic. In the book, Amanda exposes their deepest thoughts and vulnerabilities after their child and later their wife both declare their trans identities.

Once Amanda realizes that this is about their daughter and wife and not about Amanda themself, they take us for a tumultuous and often hilarious ride through their own discoveries, experiences and understanding as the story unfolded.

Whether you want to learn more about how to support a transgender loved one, or if you’re looking for a story you’ll want to read over and over, or if you’ve ever faced seemingly insurmountable obstacles in life, or if you want to know the power of unconditional love, Love Lives Here is the book for you!

A HOUSE FOR EVERYONE By Jo Hirst

BOOK REVIEW: A HOUSE FOR EVERYONE

Author: Jo Hirst,
Illustrator: Naomi Bardoff
Publisher: Jessica Kingsley
Review by: Giselle Bloch, Pflag Parent

A House For Everyone is a wonderful children’s book challenging gender stereotypes. It is appropriate for children aged approximately 4-8. When I read this book to my 5 year old loved one earlier this week, she was intrigued by the child with short hair who wasn’t a boy. She asked numerous questions, which sparked some fascinating discussion around gender. She began to understand that we tend to make assumptions about people based on our visual cues, yet those cues may be wrong. She learned that we all are who we are, and that’s okay! It was a wonderful teachable moment for the next generation who will be breaking existing boundaries and paving the way for a more inclusive society. I highly recommend A House For Everyone to folks looking for a good bedtime story and interesting conversation around gender with the young ones in their lives!

Gender: Your Guide, by Lee Airton

A Gender-Friendly Primer on What to Know, What to Say, and What to Do in the New Gender Culture

Author: Lee Airton, PhD (pronouns: They/Them)
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
Review by: Giselle Bloch, Pflag Parent

I picked up a copy of Lee Airton’s new book Gender: Your Guide because I knew that Lee is knowledgeable on all things gender-related. Little did I know that I was about to embark on a journey of unlearning, while learning new ways of understanding gender. I have a transgender child, and volunteer with Toronto Pflag to facilitate peer-support meetings with hundreds of parents/families of transgender folks, so I thought I knew all about gender. This book opened up a world of understanding for me as I began to put myself into a gender diverse person’s shoes while developing the knowledge to better understand trans, non-binary and gender diverse identities.

Gender: Your Guide talks about trans identities, how to find out a person’s pronouns without being intrusive, what to do if you get it wrong, how we make assumptions about people we meet, and building what they call our gender-friendly toolkit.

The book starts with the basics on gender, and moves on to more advanced and nuanced topics. I had already understood the difference between sex assigned at birth, gender identity and gender expression. I knew how to use the gender neutral pronoun they/them for a singular person. But one of the things I learned from Gender: Your Guide was how we all participate in gender according to how we have been socialized.

The best part of this book is that it doesn’t merely educate us on terminology; it provides real and meaningful ways to best support our transgender, non-binary and gender diverse loved ones. The author offers practical situations and examples of how to be better allies, and how we can all help push the boundaries on how we view gender. I highly recommend Gender: Your Guide to everyone -- whether you are just beginning a journey with gender or if you have been on this path for some time. We can all learn a few new things from Lee Airton’s fabulous book!