Toronto Pflag provides support in many different ways: we manage peer support groups, we answer individual telephone calls, we do presentations in schools and corporations, and we connect people with resources.

Typically a parent or family member reaches out in a panic, unsure of how to digest and accept the news that their kid is coming out of the closet imminently, if they haven’t done so already. The journey to acceptance is often long and requires a combination of individual conversations, group sessions, education, and lots of empathy. At some point, the parent would feel comfortable enough to stop coming to our peer meetings and we know we did our job of supporting that individual through their initial discomfort.

However, support is often needed long after they stop coming to Toronto Pflag. There are unexpected obstacles like government bureaucracy, employment discrimination, and incredibly hateful speech that will challenge one’s patience and test the strength of the relationships. In those times, here are a few suggestions on moving forward:

Reach Out. People often feel as though we need to go at challenges alone but that is not true. Do not be afraid to ask for support. You are not alone.
Be Kind. Be kind to others but also be kind to yourself. It’s important to remember that no one is perfect and no one has all the answers. If a mistake was made, learn from it and move on.
Reframe Perspective. It is very easy to feel sad about a challenge ahead or that the situation will never improve. But these feelings and the situation itself are temporary. It will take time for it to change but focusing on incremental progress, however big or small, will make the situation less daunting.

Overcoming challenges take time and work. Give yourself the space to work through them and find the support you need to accomplish the goals. Most importantly, when you find yourself in a position to support someone, remember to give more support than you receive. Everyone starts somewhere and will need some support along the way as they work towards a better version of themselves.